Forgiveness

Matthew 6:14-18 (ESV)
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, [15] but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
[16] "And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. [17] But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, [18] that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
Always seems backwards to me, in light of Romans that says : “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. [7] For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— [8] but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. [9] Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. [10] For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.” (Romans 5:6-10 (ESV) The Gospel says that Jesus did it. He forgave us while we were still sinners, that is before we have been able to forgive others, God forgave us. In fact probably our worst sin is our inability to forgive.
And that is where the law of this verse hits so hard. I know I’m not the only one who struggles to forgive others. Can’t seem to do near the job God has done for me. Forget it all together? No, I have learned to hold grudges if I’m honest with myself. “Happens once shame on you, happens twice shame on me.” And that is something that is inborn. Yet with God we sin against him more than twice, and he keeps forgiving. It doesn’t really make sense to me. But I believe it.
Yet I don’t want to pull the reformed 3 card Monty Trick here. That is to pull another verse from somewhere else and rather reconciling what has been said in one verse to the other, just ignoring all together what the verse you didn’t like said. Distracting you they switch cards around, and you are no longer discussing the first verse, but ignoring it for one more to your liking, or theirs.
This says what it says. If you don’t forgive others, than neither will God forgive you. Perhaps it is because our unwillingness to forgive actually shows an unwillingness to be forgiven ourselves. If we believe in the forgiveness of sins as we confess to in the Apostles creed, than that means we also believe others are forgiven their sins. Who are we not to forgive those already forgiven by God? Are we gods that we should attempt to override his forgiveness. Do we believe that we have been forgiven because we are special, but we don’t have to forgive others because they aren’t as special? When we don’t forgive we expose the fact that we don’t believe in forgiveness. And if we don't believe there isn't much that Christ's forgiveness can do for us, that is if we are unwilling to be forgiven. But thanks be to God, he has given us faith to believe our sins are forgiven, and therefore we forgive. We may not do so perfectly in this world, but then the forgiveness of Christ, makes our forgiveness perfect, even as his holiness makes us holy.