Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Teaching young women to love their husbands.

Titus 2:1-5 (ESV)
But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. [2] Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. [3] Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, [4] and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, [5] to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

“Teach what accords with sound doctrine.” This is the thought that will dominate the next chapter. Not only is Titus to teach sound doctrine, but also that which accords with it. This leads us into the realm of the “practical”; “how do we then live our life?” Sound doctrine has to do with teaching the mysteries of God:” the Trinity, the forgiveness of sins, the two natures of Christ, Holy Communion, and Christian Baptism.” Inevitably though, there comes a question about how one is to live. Often it is the doctrine of scripture that is ignored, and the morals of the Bible are proclaimed. This is backwards. It leads people to believe that their salvation is dependent on how they live, and not the forgiveness of sins. But there is a manner of life that is in accord with sound doctrine. It is one that is based on forgiveness, and love for others.
Older men, are to be what we think of when we think of older men. The wise young man listens to the older man for sober minded advice. Older men don’t think the same as younger men, but they do understand younger men. Older men should foster this sober-mindedness. This isn’t meaning that they are not to drink, I have met many sober minded men over a beer, or whiskey. They have judgment that isn’t drunk on the passions of youth. This sober-mindedness reflects itself in dignified behavior. They should be self controlled, sound in faith in love and steadfastness. It is a shame when younger men are cut off from the influences of older men in this sort of thing. It is one reason I encourage those in confirmation to come to adult Bible Study.
The next verse treats older women, and then what they should teach younger women. Older women are in many ways to be like older men, reverent in behavior, not slanderers (given to gossip) and not slaves to much wine. Again there is a qualifier. It would have been almost inconceivable at this time that a person would go a day without a glass or two of wine. But they weren’t to be slaves to drinking much wine, that is getting drunk all the time. They are also to teach younger women to love their husbands, and children.
Wow! Teach younger women to love their husbands and children. We can learn something from all this. We can be taught to love, and we can learn to love. Paul addresses here, young women not loving their husbands and children. In today’s world adolescence is prolonged. Youth is worshiped. The downside of all this is young women are not taught to love their husbands. Recent studies show that women are much more likely to cheat on husbands than in former years. Women are also more likely to file for divorce than are men, and often for little reason. Women are no longer taught to love their husbands and children, but themselves. No longer are they taught to love, by being self controlled (not acting on hormonal impulses, in fact today they are encouraged just to blame it on hormones), remaining pure, working at home, (today they are taught to resent “house work”, ) kind, (don’t be a shrew) submissive to their husbands, listen to them. That the word of God may not be reviled.
Too often you here women complaining about men being boys, or that there are no good men left anymore. I think in the hearts of many men there is a longing for real women to return. There is nothing wrong with being feminine. God bless the woman that is willing to be so. Men aren’t going to hang around very long for women that aren’t. I don’t know very many men who aren’t happy to see there wives dressed up for a night on the town. In today’s world, dressed would be a start. What is it with people, men have started doing this too, dressing in pajamas to go out in public. Used to be o.k. with the occasional hazing event where kids were kidnapped and taken to Denny’s before joining the church youth group. But seriously, put some clothes on. Don’t sit around the house all day in pajama’s and wonder why your husband isn’t interested in you or what you have to say when he gets home!
Well I’m starting to revisit some dark days in my life. During those days I read a lot of those books, the one’s that talk about how to have a healthy marriage. I think Dr. Laura is on to something when she talks about being your husband’s girlfriend. I don’t advocate premarital sex. But the most common complaint amongst young married men, is they stopped getting it after they married their girlfriend. Why is that? I think it is too easy for men and women alike to start taking each other for granted. Excuse me, I think I need to go home now.


Brigitte said...

I think Dr. Laura does often a very good job of teaching how to lover your husband. I'm not a great consumer of her stuff, but have listened occasionally on the radio while driving.

For one thing she teaches empathy: THINK what is was like working in the coal mine all day or week.

Maybe men, don't talk enough about what their life is like for them (women great suckers for such confidences; try it), but then wives should not go blabbing around what he said...

Rev. Daniel Robert Skillman said...

It is best for a man to remain unmarried. It is certainly best for a pastor to remain unmarried. These sayings were true centuries ago. They are even more true today. Let the reader understand.

Bror Erickson said...

I don't much agree. I tried the single route for the parish. It sucked, and Satan sent way too many tempting apples my way. Much happier married. Helps that my current wife is somewhat sane though.
It may be a little easier in a tradition that expects you to not be married like Roman Catholic. But if you are able to be married, and aren't parish life is going to be difficult. The women will resent you for being single. And you will find your neighbor's barely legal daughter curiously washing the car in a string bikini when you slip outside to have your morning coffee. O.k. I made that one up, but tell you the truth I had worse happen.

Jonathan said...

I would think a married pastor would certainly be a "wise older man," and thus far more effective at marital counseling than a pastor who's never been married to a woman. I mean, although being "married to the church" must have its challenges, can a husband or wife really be inclined to take it to heart from a mentor who hasn't "been there, done that"?

Nancy said...

I'm yong women have a harder time loving their husbands than say the younger ones?

Rev. Daniel Robert Skillman said...

Can't live with 'em. Can't live without 'em. I'd really like to talk to you more about this "off the grid." Is there a time and number I could call you next week (Tues. or Wed.) and we could talk about 45 mins?
Let me know.

Bror Erickson said...

Nancy, thanks for pointing out the typo.

Frank Sonnek said...

we can learn and be taught to love.

there is some hope for me then!

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